THE SCAPEGRACE

When he was young and sprightly, Tortoise rushed to Ụrashị to marry a wife. Like every other youth, he was a fantast. He thought it was an easy matter to get married. He faced the stark reality when he got to Ụrashị unaccompanied by relatives and his in-laws asked him to pay 100 cowries as bride price. Impecunious Tortoise was crestfallen and ashen-faced for although he was young and agile he was averse to work. He became weak and like a child, he toddled and sluggishly trudged home. Normally, return journeys are faster but his first trip characterised by scuttling movement contrasted drastically with his foot-dragging return journey. He was pensive like a frustrated poor man. He did not know where to get that kind of money. “How can high bride price deprive me of the bride I prize highly?” he asked himself

THE PRICE PAID FOR EXPOSING EVIL DOERS

Once upon a time, a great famine broke out in the animal kingdom and food was in short supply. The Tortoise was at his wit’s end as to how to sustain his family. By then, he was the king of the animals. He craftily concocted a plausible story as to the cause of the famine and the envisaged solution.

He convoked a summit of all the animals and briefed them on the cause of the famine and called for affirmative action on the part of one and all if the famine were to be arrested. The Tortoise claimed to be an oneiromancer, a person who could divine the future through the interpretation of dreams.  According to him, “the famine was caused by the deity, Apụ, the idol worshipped by our forefathers but neglected by our generation.  Apụ is angry. That is why he decided to punish us with famine. The solution is to restore the worship of Apụ. I recommend that we commence within a fortnight.” The animals agreed. They were eager to avert the food crisis. They fixed a date for the worship.

THE MYSTERIOUS LEAF

Once there lived a man who climbed trees very fast and with so much agility that people said he had the dexterity of the monkey in tree climbing. People from far and near hired him to prune the trees in their farm lands or to harvest their palm fruits and oil bean seeds. His fellow tree climbers, whom he outstripped and outshined in competitions, eyed him askance and nicknamed him “social climber,” but his name was Eburuche.

From above, Climbers observe many untoward things that people do below. It is said that

REWARD & PUNISHMENT

One day, a woman, Ụwọma and her daughter went to a long distance farm. They worked tirelessly for the whole day and left for home. On their way back, the girl realized that she forgot her money which she left under a dead tree. She sought her mother’s permission to go back quickly and get it. Her mother told her that it was unsafe to do that because night was falling. She promised to run as fast as she could and still meet her mother on the way before she got home. The mother consented. 
In the farm the girl went straight to where she kept her money, but the money was gone. As she was looking for her money, night fell. Night time is when fairies go about their own business. It is even significant that she kept her money under a dead tree. Suddenly a spirit appeared in the form of an old woman. The girl greeted her cautiously and sang:

ALLEGORICAL NOTION OF MARRIAGE (PART II)

The era of arranged marriages has passed. There are too many broken marriages these days. The rate of divorce is increasing among our people who live overseas. The high rate is rearing its ugly head even here in our land. If you have your ears to the ground you must have heard the saying that if we pour new wine into old wine skin the new wine will burst the skin and waste the wine. When young boys come home from USA to seek for a wife, they are necessarily looking for a nurse because the nursing profession is lucrative in America. The question is: Are they looking for a wife or are they looking for a money spinner? Of course, the youth like to go to America. Did the artiste, Mama G not sing: “I love you the way Government loves to owe teachers; I love you the way Nigeria loves American visa. Iji kwe ego? Iya mgbo mgbo.”  When the money-making-machine-wife gets to America and her eyes open as they are bound to open she will know her rights and know the truth that she was primarily married for wealth creation and not for love and companionship. When she refuses to play the role of both devoted patient wife and breadwinner as her foremothers did, divorce or death becomes the answer, the way out.

In the process of getting married, there is an interlude called courtship. This is the time intending couples study one another and try to see if they can cope with each other’s likes and dislikes. It is after this careful study that one gives his or her consent. Marriage is a free act; it is not forced and it requires exchange of will. You don’t jump into marriage because a suitor lives overseas or because a rich handsome man is asking for your hand in marriage. COURTSHIP, FREEDOM, AND CONSENT ARE REQUIRED. This is the 2^nd step.

There is a dangerous euphemism making its rounds among young girls: “Na love we go chop?” The primary end of marriage is love and companionship. The secondary aim is procreation. Children are the fruit of this loving union. A common joke is that Oyibo generally marry because they are in love but the African marries to fall in love later, if ever. Listen to me! This is false. There has always been love in our land. In the olden days many girls eloped with their lovers who could not pay bride price. The pet names which the then husbands gave their wives depict deep love. Such pet names as Obidiya (the husband’s heart), Ahụdiya (the husband’s body), Onụdiya (the husband’s mouth piece), Ụkwụdiya (the husband’s leg), Mmadi (the husband’s paragon of beauty), Uredi (the husband’s pride), Ihudiya (the husband’s face), Egodiya (the husband’s money), Ugodiya (the husband’s eagle), Uridi (the husband’s ornament), Omashịrịdiya (the husband delight) were not given for the fun of it. These affectionate names were given out of love.

ALLEGORICAL NOTION OF MARRIAGE (PART I)

Once upon a time, there lived a very rich man who was foresighted. Owing to the fact that he was the only child of his parents he married many wives and he married quite early too. So he had numerous children and grandchildren to consolidate his base. He thought of the best legacies to bequeath to posterity. His mind went to great and undying practices such as rituals. It occurred to him that human beings do what every other animal does except that they symbolically ritualise their own acts. For instance, all animals eat but humans take time to prepare their food: obtain, cook, dish out the food, sit down at table, wash their hands, eat, pick their teeth, drink water, wash their hands again, etc. Thus, on account of rituals, human beings complicate feeding, which lower animals do with ease. To sleep, lower animals just lie down and close their eyes but humans go through the ritual of making sleeping mats, beds, mattresses,  pillows, bed sheets, etc. They achieve the same purpose but whether humans arrive at a better quality of sleep is a matter for further reflection. Every animal procreates but humans go through the ritual of courtship, marriage contract, permanent relationships, live together as a family and eventually make their own babies and keep them under tutelage up to nineteen years or more.

THE PRODIGIOUS FATHER

Once upon a time, there lived an extraordinarily wealthy person. He was a very wise and astute investor. He had business empires here and there. He was a very generous father and he had four children. His policy was to have all his children born and bred abroad for an integral learning experience right from their childhood. He gave each one of them powerful instantaneous means of communicating with him at any given moment. He asked them not to request their needs from any other person. His plan was to bring back home each child that graduates so that he/she would inherit a business empire of his/her own to manage and enjoy. And he made this known to them.

PARABLE OF THE STOMACH

Our elders say “Egbuo dike na ọgụ ulo echeta ya na ọgụ ama – when  a people kill their champion during skirmishes at home they will be forced to remember that warrior while fighting external aggressors.” People who destroy their leaders out of jealousy always rue it. “Agbawọ dike izuzu agba ya mgba na abọ – when people scheme and take decision behind the back of an important dignitary they will be forced to reconsider and reverse their decision.

Once upon a time, God made the different parts of the body. He housed them in a magnificent garden and gave them certain ground rules. The most essential of all the rules was the law of hospitality. He commanded them to be compassionate, generous, and welcoming; they should freely give alms and show hospitality to all, especially to unknown visitors.

HOW THE CHOICES WE MAKE IN LIFE CAN MAKE OR MAR US

Among the Igbo, to nurture good relationship, a person may give a she-goat, ewe or hen to a friend to rear. As the goat/sheep/hen reproduces, they share the offspring. But if the goat, sheep or hen dies it has to be returned to the owner.